Being Sick in College = Suck fest

Being sick when your mom isn't there to baby you and buy you popsicles and rub your back is no fun at all.
I think this is the first time in college that i've been real sick. Like not wanting to get out of bed the entire day and falling asleep while reading kind of sick. I'm pretty sure that I woke up from one my 5 naps today and tried to call for my mom and then rememered that she's 2 hours away. Dang.
Well, I'm definitely going to take my multi-vitamin every day from here on out so that I don't get sick again while I'm in college! Because let's admit it: When you're home, being sick has its perk. But when you're in college you get the sick part, but not the perks part. And that's lame.

So I'm not even kidding. God cussed at me. I know that his vocabulary is way more ornate than this, but to my mind this is how it translated:

"Trust me, dammit!"

I was being an idiot and questioning and I cried out for Him to speak to me and that's what He said.
God is awesome.

It's a good thing when your friends love you more than beer. I just found out that Diana does. Thanks, girl.

I was in Colo this weekend and got to see some amazing stars. I'm so glad that God created stars. They are one of my favorite creations ever. I could look at them all night and not be bored.

Crap

I'm so unworthy.
I don't know how I got back to this place.
I thought that I had learned my lesson and that my relationship with the Lord would be consistent from here on out.
I thought that I would never doubt Him again.
I thought I was learning to surrender.

And then I realize where I am, and I hate it.
My relationship with Jesus is crap right now.
I've been ridiculously unfaithful.
I'm supposed to be the salt of the earth and I can't claim that right now.
I'm so so ashamed.
But at the same time, I can't say that I am going to turn it around.
It sickens me.

This post is ridiculously honest.

I Have Friends

I have amazing friends.
On Friday night Diana and I randomly decided to drive to Washington, MO (outside of St. Louis) to visit her family. I hope I'm always spontaneous. I know that it's easier to be spontaneous in college, but I want to keep at least some level of it my whole life. Friends, help me with that, ok?

But there's more to it than that. I have friends who will argue with me for 30 minutes about the most pointless things just because I like to argue.

I have friends who take awful classes with me and don't judge me for sucking at it. And help me see the bright side of things.... or at least let me wallow in my misery a little bit. And will laugh with me about weird Christmas speeches.

I have friends that I don't have to see for 5 months, but when we do get to see each other, nothing has changed.

I have friends who hold me accountable.
I have friends who pray for me.
I have friends who worry about me.
I have friends who help me get closer to Jesus.
I have friends who will tell me when I need to shape up.
I have friends who will laugh with me.
I have friends who will laugh at me. :)
I have friends that will be there for me my whole life.

I thank Jesus for my friends.

MM MM Good!

It has been a tough couple of months in general, and a tough 24 hours in particular. Just stupid school stuff, mostly. But as I'm sitting on my bed facing the window, I can see an amazing sunset and as cheesy as this sounds, my problems just don't seem to matter as much. A grade on a test of paper or even in a class is so miniscule in respect to the big picture. I'm not saying that as an excuse to let myself off the hook for slacking or whatever... but these little things really don't matter that much.

Creation rocks my socks off.

God made creation.

Therefore, God rocks my socks off.

I hope that's not irreverent?

Increíble!

I serve such an incredible God.
I can't doubt His existence or His working in my life.
I don't serve Him like I should.
I want my whole life to glorify Him.

Lord, give me strength.

Tonight the Stars Speak

Thank the Lord for...

ridiculous halloween costumes

getting tattoos

christmas parties way too early

egg nog

friends who will go on last minute road trips

colorado

stars that reach to the horizon

shooting stars

naps outside

IHOP

voting

boys who know how to change tires

sunshine