Grace

God's grace amazes me. I'm having a hard time expanding on that because that sentence really says it all. I can't even begin to describe my debt to Him for all that He has given me. I get to have a relationship with the CREATOR of the UNIVERSE. That is so ridiculous!
And yet, I take advantage of it all the time. I don't give the same grace to other people. I don't love my neighbor as myself. I'm so so selfish, and I think about myself and my feelings way too much. How much better off would I be if I put others first! I don't deserve God's love, not in the least, but He STILL gives it to me. I screw up ALL the time and he forgives me every single time. But I don't do that to others. And I need to. And the only way it's gonna happen is if I'm serious in praying for it and seeking it. It's gonna be tough. I'm not looking forward to the lessons that I know I'm going to have to learn. But I'm going to come out of it more Christ-like, and that's all that really matters, right?

An amazing and awesome friend of mine wrote a song and part of it goes:

I'm so sick of my glory

Show me Your love that I've been missing

While I've been sitting here

Thinking of myself

I don't want to take advantage of Your sacrifice

Anymore

That hits home.

Dang...

So, tomorrow I have a macroeconomics test. I currently have a 63 in that class... on the last test i got a 52. In about 10 minutes I am going to go to the library where I will probably spend about 6 hours of my life studying for this test that I will take tomorrow, hopefully pass, and then try to make it through the rest of the semester so I can get through this class, and then most likely never use that information again. Oh yea, and I'm paying a buttload for it.
Sometimes college sucks.

Inconsistent

Hey there!
Well, I do enjoy blogging, but just to warn you, I'm very inconsistent about it. I may do it every day for a week, and then stop for 6 months. So consider yourself warned.
So... where do I go from here?
God has recently been teaching me what it means to really live for Him. I've been a Christian pretty much my whole life, but a lot of the time I don't give Jesus my all... actually, all the time. I'm so selfish and prideful, and I want the approval and validation of people around me. But God doesn't want me to want that. A song that has meant a lot to me, and has really been my prayer this past semester is Yearn by Shane and Shane. The chorus goes:

Lord, I want to yearn for You

I want to burn with passion over You

And only You

Lord, I want to yearn

That honestly is what I want. And the really awesome thing about it, is that as I've been asking for it, He's been giving it to me. I'm not going to sit here and try to say that I'm there, that God truly is my one and only desire and my sole passion... I'm not there yet. But He's given me SO much. I feel like my walk with Him is finally real. It's finally based on something more than just emotion and spiritual highs. It's based on something more than what's going on in my life at any given moment. I still have SO SO SO much to learn, and I always will, but He's teaching me. And He's the most amazing teacher there is.