In some ways this summer has been incredible, and in other ways, well, it hasn't.

My job is wonderful. I have been so blessed by the kids I'm working with and have been learning a lot about myself, and what I want to do with my life in the future. My patience is tested day after day and I have begun to learn what I have to do to avoid burn out. I've been wrestling with how to show Jesus in implicit, rather than explicit, ways. I have awesome co-workers who encourage me and keep me sane.

Living at home as been so good. It's been peaceful. It's been restful. It's been exactly what I've needed.

Vineyard is exactly the church I need to be at this summer and God has continued to show me that. The way that He orchestrated my being there again has been obvious proof of His will for my life.

But I have put my relationship with Jesus on the back burner. I have been convicted of sin in my life that I knew I would be confronted by the moment I opened the Word and started listening. So I didn't. I avoided it. Until last night. And, of course, Jesus confronted me in His firm, but gentle way. And I listened to Him. Finally. And a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I feel so free. Things are not perfect. There is work still to be done. But I've finally stopped trying to do it myself and have given Him the reins. Praise be to Jesus, who knows what He's doing.

I might be wrong

Pride.
Ohhhh, pride.
It's something I struggle with a lot. a lot.
Jesus is teaching me that even when I think I'm right, I might be wrong.
There are few things of which I can be absolutely certain:
I am a sinner.
While I was still a sinner Christ died for me. And rose again.
I need to live my life for him.

Other than that, I could be wrong.

This Summer

This summer I plan to...

• Get closer to Jesus
• Love my job and the kids I get to work with
• Become familiar with Westport and downtown KC
• Get tan
• Read good books
• Fill up my journal
• Get in shape
• Learn what it means to pray without ceasing
• Let my heart take some risks
• Laugh until I cry
• Go to Chicago
• Knit way too much
• Invest in the people that matter
• LOVE

Taming my Unruly Tongue

James 1:19
...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...

The slow to speak is where I struggle. A lot. My tongue so often gets the better of me and I say something that I didn't want to say, whether it's a too sarcastic comment or something that embarrasses someone. I'm always getting myself into trouble. Sometimes I wish I couldn't talk at all.

I'm trying to find the balance between conviction and guilt. It's hard for me to find.

I want so badly to be a light and to exude Jesus' love, but I mess it up constantly.

I take comfort in this though: "Hope means holding onto You. Grace means You're holding me too." -JJ Heller

make sense?

hey friends.

I've been out for a while.

Both my hands were broken and I was no longer able to type.

Anyway, life is good and Hay-sus is better.

Peace.

BIG NEWS

My bike (yes, the bike I got for FREE this summer whilst playing Bigger or Better) is FIXED! It has pedals, the rust is scrubbed off the chain (literally and figuratively), and it's all lubed up.

Next step: 12 mile bike ride on Friday.

Yes, I will probably die.

This is similar to what my bike looks like.

Also, all the hardcore bike guys at bike night last night told me it was a sweet bike.

So that was cool.

Just a Glimpse

I didn't go to sleep last night. For the past week or so, I have been on a TERRIBLE sleep schedule - staying up until the wee hours of the morning and sleeping into the afternoon. So last night, I decided I just wouldn't go to sleep, and that way I can go to sleep early tonight.
So I came to Bluestem to be productive and get all my homework done.
Problem.
I forgot the notebook I need to do 98% of the homework that I have.
So instead, I had a great time with Jesus. This morning was exceptionally great. I think maybe because I haven't been spending quality time with Him, and I was so thirsty for it.
Here's some of the stuff that was great about Him this morning:

He gave me chills because of Hebrews 10:28-31: "Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. How much worse the punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has spurned the Son of God, and has profaned the blood covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, 'Vengeance is mine; I will repay.' And again, 'The Lord will judge his people.' It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."
God deserves my fear.

He made me laugh because of Proverbs 27:14 - "Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing."
Because I have most definitely interpreted my, uh, neighbors intended morning blessings, as curses.

He inspired me with Hebrews 10:23-25, "Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

God is so great.